So, this past week has been an emotional rollercoaster. Last tuesday Opie found out he'll be traveling to Asheville for work for about 2-6 months. I was really angry at first, but then I realized that it's just another way God is providing a way for us to financially allow me to stay home with Annabelle. Then, his boss decided he needed to go to Manning, SC for some training this week. Well, that threw a bit of a kink in our plans. We were supposed to be going to Columbia to see my family Saturday and Sunday and then coming home to Seneca. (Side note: Manning is about an hour and fifteen minutes below where my family lives... so, I decided to stay in Columbia for the days that Opie spent in Manning.) Boy, God works in amazing ways. If it weren't for Opie's job we would have never stayed in Columbia for a few extra days and I may have never gotten to have a sweet talk with my grandaddy before he left this world.
We got into town on Saturday and spent a great day with my dad's whole family for my cousin Aleesha's graduation party. It was sad because my grandaddy wasn't there and was in the hospital again. My sister and I both had our babies and husbands there and my grandmother and aunts and uncles got to meet Annabelle for the first time! Oh, I forgot to mention, this was also the first time that Jackson (my sister's baby) and Annabelle met and the first time I got to see my handsome nephew and my sister got to meet Annabelle. It was pretty emotional. Since we had the babies 2 weeks a part, neither one of us could travel when they were born. Anyway, after the party Opie, Annabelle and I went back to my sister's and hung out with her and Stephen and Jackson. In the middle of the night we were woken up by a terrible phone call from my dad saying they had moved my grandpa to ICU and we should get down there quickly if we wanted to see him. He was bleeding internally and had stopped breathing. They had him on a ventilator, as he could not breathe on his own. What I saw when I got there was awful and I cried for the rest of the night and kept seeing his face over and over. I never ever wanted to remember him that way. We stayed until about 5 a.m. and decided we needed to go home and rest. The next day my mom had a baby shower planned for me at my sister's. I never had one with my family in Columbia when I was pregnant. So, we were having a post-baby baby shower.
Sunday came and we were all exhausted. Opie was leaving for Manning to work and we had a baby shower planned. The baby shower was so much fun and I got to see my mom's family and they all got to meet the baby too! Opie left me on Sunday night to go to Manning and I spent the evening with my mom and sister. I kept seeing that image of Grandaddy that I didn't want to remember. I had decided I couldn't see him again that way. Monday was good. Mama took me and Whitney to lunch and we went shopping... I went to mama's dance class and dinner with her. All the while still waiting on news about Grandaddy. They had told us early Sunday morning that there wasn't very much they could do for him because he wasn't stable enough for surgery to stop the bleeding and his kidneys were shutting down. So, we were waiting to hear what to do next. Tuesday morning they ran some tests on him to see if he could come off the ventilator and make it on his own. My dad came by and spent some quiet time with me and Annabelle. I know he needed it. My grandaddy was my daddy's best friend and I've never seen my daddy so torn up in all my life. I sat with him and let him talk and cry and just listened. While he was spending time with us, my aunt called and said my dad needed to get there. They were saying that Grandaddy would probably pass that day. Daddy called me as soon as he got there and said I needed to get down there by 1:30 because they were taking Grandaddy off the ventilator at that time and he would have to breathe on his own and may not have much time after that. I packed up Annabelle and met my sister and family there. I didn't want to go back and see him again. I remember what I saw Saturday night and I couldn't handle it again.
My daddy convinced me I needed to go and promised he'd hold my hand. So, Whitney, my daddy and myself went to the room to say our goodbyes. AND I am sooooooo very grateful that I did. I saw him peaceful. He looked better than he did when I saw him Saturday and I was able to stand and talk to him and cry with my daddy and sister. I will never ever forget those moments. I thanked him for loving us so much, because he did love us more than any grandparent in the world. I thanked him for all the candy before dinner and all the golf cart rides through the woods and to the catfish pond. We waited in the waiting room for a while afterwards until the nurses came to tell us it was time to take him off of all the machines. My whole entire family (probably 20 something people) stood in the hall near his room and waited. When they opened the door, he was there, breathing, on his own. We all crammed into his room and stood around his bed, for what seemed like forever. He breathed and made noise, but mostly he looked comfortable and peaceful and that's what we all wanted to see. My daddy stood next to him the whole time, never letting go of his hand. When it was time for me to leave, I leaned in and kissed him and spoke something in his ear and daddy told me later that he shook his head while i was whispering to him. THAT MEANT THE WORLD TO ME! I know he heard me. I know he knew I was there. I knew then that I could let him go and have a sense of peace knowing that he knew how much I loved him.
Daddy stayed by his side all night and Wednesday morning at about 10:15 he took his last breath. My daddy was there holding his hand and loving him. The hardest part of this whole thing has been watching my daddy hurt so much. His dad was his best buddy and it's gonna be a long time before my daddy is okay. That's the hardest part. I've never had to lose a grandparent and I didn't know what it would be like, but it's been the hardest loss of my life. And it's hard to watch your parents hurt so much too. I hate that Grandaddy never met Annabelle. It kills me everyday. I know he would have adored her and she would have just loved him to pieces! But, I know they will meet one day and he'll be walking. He won't be cripple anymore. No more polio holding him back. No more crutches and scooters and no more pain. He will walk or run right up to us when we see him again... OR MAYBE he'll be riding a shiny golf cart. He loved our golf cart rides... nothing will ever compare. What I wouldn't give for just one more ride with him...
We got into town on Saturday and spent a great day with my dad's whole family for my cousin Aleesha's graduation party. It was sad because my grandaddy wasn't there and was in the hospital again. My sister and I both had our babies and husbands there and my grandmother and aunts and uncles got to meet Annabelle for the first time! Oh, I forgot to mention, this was also the first time that Jackson (my sister's baby) and Annabelle met and the first time I got to see my handsome nephew and my sister got to meet Annabelle. It was pretty emotional. Since we had the babies 2 weeks a part, neither one of us could travel when they were born. Anyway, after the party Opie, Annabelle and I went back to my sister's and hung out with her and Stephen and Jackson. In the middle of the night we were woken up by a terrible phone call from my dad saying they had moved my grandpa to ICU and we should get down there quickly if we wanted to see him. He was bleeding internally and had stopped breathing. They had him on a ventilator, as he could not breathe on his own. What I saw when I got there was awful and I cried for the rest of the night and kept seeing his face over and over. I never ever wanted to remember him that way. We stayed until about 5 a.m. and decided we needed to go home and rest. The next day my mom had a baby shower planned for me at my sister's. I never had one with my family in Columbia when I was pregnant. So, we were having a post-baby baby shower.
Sunday came and we were all exhausted. Opie was leaving for Manning to work and we had a baby shower planned. The baby shower was so much fun and I got to see my mom's family and they all got to meet the baby too! Opie left me on Sunday night to go to Manning and I spent the evening with my mom and sister. I kept seeing that image of Grandaddy that I didn't want to remember. I had decided I couldn't see him again that way. Monday was good. Mama took me and Whitney to lunch and we went shopping... I went to mama's dance class and dinner with her. All the while still waiting on news about Grandaddy. They had told us early Sunday morning that there wasn't very much they could do for him because he wasn't stable enough for surgery to stop the bleeding and his kidneys were shutting down. So, we were waiting to hear what to do next. Tuesday morning they ran some tests on him to see if he could come off the ventilator and make it on his own. My dad came by and spent some quiet time with me and Annabelle. I know he needed it. My grandaddy was my daddy's best friend and I've never seen my daddy so torn up in all my life. I sat with him and let him talk and cry and just listened. While he was spending time with us, my aunt called and said my dad needed to get there. They were saying that Grandaddy would probably pass that day. Daddy called me as soon as he got there and said I needed to get down there by 1:30 because they were taking Grandaddy off the ventilator at that time and he would have to breathe on his own and may not have much time after that. I packed up Annabelle and met my sister and family there. I didn't want to go back and see him again. I remember what I saw Saturday night and I couldn't handle it again.
My daddy convinced me I needed to go and promised he'd hold my hand. So, Whitney, my daddy and myself went to the room to say our goodbyes. AND I am sooooooo very grateful that I did. I saw him peaceful. He looked better than he did when I saw him Saturday and I was able to stand and talk to him and cry with my daddy and sister. I will never ever forget those moments. I thanked him for loving us so much, because he did love us more than any grandparent in the world. I thanked him for all the candy before dinner and all the golf cart rides through the woods and to the catfish pond. We waited in the waiting room for a while afterwards until the nurses came to tell us it was time to take him off of all the machines. My whole entire family (probably 20 something people) stood in the hall near his room and waited. When they opened the door, he was there, breathing, on his own. We all crammed into his room and stood around his bed, for what seemed like forever. He breathed and made noise, but mostly he looked comfortable and peaceful and that's what we all wanted to see. My daddy stood next to him the whole time, never letting go of his hand. When it was time for me to leave, I leaned in and kissed him and spoke something in his ear and daddy told me later that he shook his head while i was whispering to him. THAT MEANT THE WORLD TO ME! I know he heard me. I know he knew I was there. I knew then that I could let him go and have a sense of peace knowing that he knew how much I loved him.
Daddy stayed by his side all night and Wednesday morning at about 10:15 he took his last breath. My daddy was there holding his hand and loving him. The hardest part of this whole thing has been watching my daddy hurt so much. His dad was his best buddy and it's gonna be a long time before my daddy is okay. That's the hardest part. I've never had to lose a grandparent and I didn't know what it would be like, but it's been the hardest loss of my life. And it's hard to watch your parents hurt so much too. I hate that Grandaddy never met Annabelle. It kills me everyday. I know he would have adored her and she would have just loved him to pieces! But, I know they will meet one day and he'll be walking. He won't be cripple anymore. No more polio holding him back. No more crutches and scooters and no more pain. He will walk or run right up to us when we see him again... OR MAYBE he'll be riding a shiny golf cart. He loved our golf cart rides... nothing will ever compare. What I wouldn't give for just one more ride with him...
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