half a year...

my little sweetie will be 6 months old tomorrow... i figured it was time for a little update since i've been slack and haven't posted in like a month or more.

at her sick visit to the doc on december 9 she weighed a whopping 17 lbs! big girl! and she wasn't even 6 months old yet. big chunky girl. i take her back to the doc next week on december 22 for her 6 month well checkup. i'm curious to see how big she's gotten in 2 weeks!

i quit breastfeeding the day she turned 5 months old. my milk was diminishing again. i already had to go through this one time and it was very difficult to build it back up and she was constantly hungry. she was still wanting to eat every 2 hours and it was wearing both of us out. i cried and cried over the decision. but i ultimately decided it was time to switch to the bottle. it was the hardest decision i've made yet. but, now i know it was the best one. she's a lot fuller and happier now.

her appetite has become quite insatiable. it's insane. she's already eating 3 times a day on top of her bottles. she usually gets 6 ounces every 4 hours, but now she's hungry after 3 hours all the time. so, i figure this week i may start feeding her 8 ounces at feedings to see how she does. she now eats rice cereal, carrots, sweet potatoes, bananas, peas and squash. and i'm so proud of her! she seems to love everything she puts in her mouth. which is a great thing, because opie and i are not picky eaters and we hope not to raise one.

she had her first yucky cold a couple of weeks ago. i chose to keep her home and not rush her to the doctor (i don't want to be one of those moms, especially when they have a cold and there's nothing that a doc can do). after about 2 weeks she wasn't getting any better and i figured her cold must have developed into an infection. she was still sooooo tough. never pulled at her ears or cried too much. she just became a little fussy and ill. i took her in and she had double ear infections. poor baby. we're treating with antibiotics and she's doing much better!

if you remember back to a couple of months ago, annabelle had began to cut teeth. it had been a VERY LONG PROCESS!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY COW! last night she was pretty ill and fussy and chewing on everything again, so i put my finger in her mouth to soothe her gums and what do you know?!? there's a little toothy cutting my finger! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! finally. it's not all the way out, but it's poking through and you can definitely see it and feel it. i give it a couple of days before it's sitting there smiling back at me when she grins!

i'm so proud of her! she will be 6 months old tomorrow and i can't believe how fast it has happened. everything really does fly by! it's been half a year and my life is more amazing than i could have ever imagined. I JUST LOVE HER TO PIECES!!!

etcetera...

Annabelle had her first experience with sweet potatoes this past week. Wednesday afternoon I finally introduced her to them and she ABSOLUTELY loves them! much better than rice cereal, i must say.

she's also had her first cruddy sickness this past week. don't know if it's a cold or just congestion and yuck, but whatever it is, it's making me sad. she's not old enough to know how to cough in a productive way to express the mucus, so it's pitiful to hear her cough and breathe. i've just been cleaning her little nose out as much as possible. and of course, now i have it too! fun fun fun!

she's also getting fatter. much fatter! but, i love it! she is so adorable and so sweet and i am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO blessed!!! oh, and the gripe water has worked wonders for her gassy belly/teething issues! (it has helped with gas, teething, acid reflux issues and has even helped with painful hiccups). pretty much any ailment can be helped with the gripe water... and the best part about it is that it's all natural! just ginger and fennel. yay!

memory overload... gotta unload some.

soooooooooo i'm officially the mom with a notepad! yep. started carrying around a notepad everywhere i go because annabelle is a freakin genius! haha! no, really. she's doing wayyyyy too much and i can't keep up with her. and she's acting all grown up and she's not even 5 months old. after opie started traveling so much she started doing everything all at once. it was like she knew my poor little brain couldn't handle it all by myself and she thought it would be funny to make me cry on a daily basis at just how fast she's growing. well, it worked.

first off, i'm very slowly weening annabelle off the breast. my goal was to breastfeed for 6 months, but my milk has been on the decline again and this time it's not replinishing the way it did before. so, i'm trying to make it through 5 months with the breastmilk. i'm just not making enough anymore. so, i've started to introduce the bottle more. she still gets breastmilk a few times a day, but also gets more formula now and rice cereal. i usually hold her to feed her the bottle if we're anywhere except for home. but, at home i sit her in her boppy and sit next to her and hold it for her so she will begin to learn some independence about eating. well, i'd say the second time i did this, she took the bottle in her hands, as she has done before and held on. i thought she'd drop it like usual, but nope. she fed herself a 4 ounce bottle! she even turned it up at the end until she got every drop out. i was so proud, but so sad because she didn't even need me. i mean before she needed me every single time she ate. we were attached at the boob. literally. haha! i crack myself up!!! but, now she was feeding herself?!? wow! too much to take in for a mommy! a lot of babies don't feed themselves bottles until 6 to 8 months of age, so this was huge for me. she's a genius. and pretty much feeding herself every single bottle now, unless she's too lazy and then i feed her.

same day as the bottle incident, she was playing in the floor rolling around trying to play with her toys and being a little fussy (as it was almost naptime)... and i look down and she had found her pacifier. she reached for it, picked it up off the floor and put it in her mouth! just like a big girl! i mean seriously. doesn't need me for that anymore either! she just self-soothes now or what? her hand/eye coordination is amazing already.

i already blogged about her first experience with rice cereal. so, all that has happened this month too! and here's a pic of the first time with rice cereal. --------->

the little stinker has rolled over from front to back and back to front. she did this probably a month or so ago. but, if you're a mommy you know they may do this a couple times and then not do it for a while. they just forget about it. well, last week she started desparately trying to roll over again from back to front. and she did a couple times. i was so happy for her! thought i'd seen the most i'd see for a while, but no. she's still just been going to town with the rolling over! all over the place. just today she did it earlier and kept going and going and going. i would flip her back over because she was having trouble getting back onto her back and then she'd roll right back over to her front again! she's too funny!!!

she's been trying to sit up longer than she's been trying to roll over. i've had picture after picture of her trying to sit and actually sitting with a little help from the boppy. this past week, i worked with her a lot one day because she was just trying so hard to pull up and sit. so, i'd help her up and sit with her and let go (with supporting arms surrounding her, of course) and she actually started to learn to catch herself as she falls off balance to tilt one way or the other. she's starting to form that connection in her pretty little head! it's like i can see the wheels turning in her head as she's doing it. so, she should be sitting alone in no time at all!

annabelle's always been a very vocal baby (i wonder why). she loves to laugh out loud, make lots of babbles and squeal a lot!!!!!!! she loves to squeal! especially at the fan, the t.v. or myself when i'm being silly. yesterday i noticed her making a new sound with her mouth. she's figured out how to make the funny spit noise with her mouth. you know, the motorboat sound? it's hilarious! she'll just look at me and blow her lips together and it sounds like she's doing the motorboat. also, she does it with her tongue sticking out sometimes too! so adorable! so much fun!

she loves to dance with me! i was dancing in the living room the other day and i noticed she was starting to sway back and forth, so i picked her up and we danced together! forever! we had such a blast and she just laughed and laughed and couldn't get enough. at least i know she'll love to sing and dance just like me!!!

her smiles have gone beyond sweet, innocent smiley grins. they are now smirks or "haha mommy, look what i'm doing" with the raised eyebrow thing. just such grown up looks all the time and just looks at me like such a big girl. oh, and she loves to give all the men the flirty, eye-bat. she's too much!

she's gotten so strong on her tummy and can hold herself up well! she also LOVES her exersaucer and is learning so much everyday. she just jumps all around in that thing! she is having a blast! --->

WHAT A MONTH IT HAS BEEN!!!!!!! can't wait to see what new, fun stuff she has in store for us next month. she'll be 5 months old next week and it seems like just yesterday she was a brand new baby that only slept, ate and cried. not anymore. she is forming the sweetest, most beautiful little personality. so proud of my little stinker!

first food fun!

i've been so excited to start annabelle on rice cereal since her 4 month birthday! opie was away and i didn't want to feed her for the first time without him here, so i waited and waited all week for him to come home. and first thing yesterday morning we fed her! it was soooooooooooooo funny! hahahahahahaha!!! i was totally prepared for it to be a flop because a lot of babies don't take to it right away. well... not my chunky, hungry babe. she dove right in! of course she made this funny, weird face the whole entire time, but she just kept eating. it's like when something is so ugly you just can't look away. well, for her it was like the food was so odd and weird that she just couldn't stop eating it with that goofy look on her face. it was a success! and i fed her again today and she loves it. hopefully her little tummy will start to settle down now that she's eating the rice cereal too. the doctor seems to think her reflux will get better once she's eating cereal on a regular basis. she hasn't started any spoon grabbing yet, but is very receptive to the spoon and doesn't really try and spit the food out. sometimes her tongue will give that reflex and try to push it out, but then she sucks it back up. so cute! this is so much fun!!!

i video taped the whole process and it was quite entertaining! everytime i try and post a video to this site it won't upload. so, i guess everyone won't get to see it. i'll continue to try and post it when i have time.

while daddy's away...

this past week was rough... to say the least. opie left us sunday night for the week and while he was gone i thought we were falling a part. well, i almost did. if it weren't for my mom and some good good friends, i probably would have had a nervous breakdown. i don't think you realize how much you lean on your better half until they are gone. i've had to do a couple days here adn there and a short week or two without him before, but this was harder and much more drawn out. annabelle is at an age now where she needs constant attention and i need more help.

my mom came up and played with us monday and tuesday and we had a blast! all week annabelle was ill again due to her teeth. she's still teething pretty seriously. it's sad. i took her for her 4 month check up on tuesday morning. dr. stewart says he can see several tooth buds and they are all just waiting to pop through! he said she was growing just great and he was very impressed that i was still breastfeeding and was happy that she has done so well with it. her weight and height were great and her head is growing just as it is supposed to. i have been SUPER hesitant about vaccinations. it's been so tough for me to want to poison her little body with all of the additives in the vaccines, but when it came down to it, i just decided to put her on an alternate shot schedule and the pediatrician has agreed to work with us on that. so, tuesday we only got one of her shots and the rotavirus oral vaccine. i will take her back in a few weeks to get the other shots.

on wednesday annabelle started acting weird. arching her back and neck a lot and then she would spit up violently. she's always been a spitter, but now it seemed to be causing her pain. after two days of this i finally took her into the doctor on friday. dr. stewart feels she has a severe case of acid reflux, so we have now started her on baby prevacid solutabs. poor baby. it breaks my heart. she will probably have to do this for about 4 months or so. he feels that the older she gets and the more she sits up on her own and the more solids we start to feed her that it will clear up; however, if we don't start treating the problem now, the acid could ruin her esophagus. i was warned early on that babies with spit up problems usually hit their peaks at 3 to 4 months and it's at its worst at that point. oh boy, they weren't lying!

recently annabelle has started to do a lot of fun things! she LOVES her new exersaucer!!!!!!!!! absolutely LOVES IT! she's hilarious when she's in it. looks like such a big girl! she's always been a smiley baby and a giggler, but lately all she does is laugh. it's so funny! you can't help but have a smile on your face when you look at her and she's smiling from ear to ear just because you look at her. and then she'll just laugh for no reason. and talking... man, she's a talker. but, i guess she is learning from "THE TALKER"! haha. poor child never stood a chance with me as her mother. i talk to her all day long... i'd love to be a fly on the wall in my house just to see our interactions all day long. haha. if someone were to see us talking all day long, they would think i'm a NUT! annabelle has also started to turn herself around a lot while she's laying down and if you walk behind her she turns around to follow you. I LOVE IT! she's finally learning about everything. it's so cute! while laying on her back she will turn herself all over the floor reaching for toys and she is babbling now more than she ever has!

so, this last week was rough. i don't see how single mom's do it! my hats are off to them. it's tough enough just being a stay-at-home mom, but when you're doing it all day and all night by yourself, you pretty much become a single mom. not having opie here at night when i need a break really did test my patience. but, i've realized how valuable he is as a father. he really is such a big help when he's here. it's sad when he's gone. i wouldn't trade him for the world. he is an amazing dad and a wonderful husband! just since he came back on friday night, annabelle has been a different baby. so happy and so funny! she loves her daddy. hopefully all this traveling ridiculousness will end one day soon. we're praying for a change.

YOU GROW GIRL!

in a week, Annabelle will be 4 months old and she's growing so fast. we're about to hit the crazy months where things are changing every single day... sooooo excited!

a few updates on our nanner:

this past week Annabelle has been trying to pull herself upright from a lying down position. it's super cute. she's getting so frustrated everytime she tries because she's just not quite strong enough and not quite there yet. she looks like she's doing crunches. she tries to do it when she's hangin out in the boppy too. it's hilarious! the other day i decided to sit her on the floor and put the boppy securely around her waist and she sat up in that position for a very long time! so yay! shouldn't be long now and i'll have her sitting up all alone with no support from boppy, mommy or bumbo!

my mom thinks she is going to be a crazy soccer player or other sporty girl as soon as she is able to run. she has entirely too much energy and has to be moving or playing at all times... it's exhausting! and my mom says i should watch out because as soon as she's able to walk, she'll be running! the child NEVER EVER stops moving! it kinda wears me out! but, at the same time it makes me super happy to know her little brain is working so well and working overtime! she is a little over-indulgent. i mean i constantly catch her with two toys in her hands (one in her left and one in her right, just going to town shakin away) or one toy in her hands, but she has to have both hands, all 10 fingers and toes and her face smooshed up against the toy! she is quite a hoot!

she's getting a million times better with tummy time. she can hold herself up with her arms and she reaches for toys while on her belly.

ALSO... this morning she ALMOST rolled over from back to front! she hasn't tried from front to back because she doesn't prefer her stomach... but soon enough. she's been close to rolling over a few times recently, but this morning was the closest yet! i made sure to get it on camera at least. didn't have the video camera ready, but i did get it on camera. it's all happening so fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have to have the video camera ready at all times from here on out. she's keeping me on my toes! it's crazy how excited i am about this... it's so sweet how much life changes when you become a mommy. it's so much stuff to capture and i love being home with her and being able to see it all happen first hand the minute it does. makes my heart smile :)

P.S. Today Opie and I pulled out the video of the first 5 minutes after she was born and her first bath in the baby nursery and i cried like a baby. she's already growing so fast... it's unreal! oh i'm so blessed!!!

our future tiger

so, we took annabelle to her second game of the season. we had tickets and decided we should try and go in even though it looked a little dreary. thankfully we didn't start the walk from the tailgate a minute sooner than we were going to. at about the point that we were getting ready to leave the tailgate and head to the stadium with our "precious cargo" it started pouring buckets... it was awful. so, annabelle missed out on the action of the game once again. but, she tailgated like a trooper. we couldn't really leave the tailgate because it was raining so hard for so long, but she did awesome! check out her get-up for this game!

she loves tiger football already. or at least she loves what she's gotten to do so far. she's getting broken in early and i know she's gonna be just like her mama! ;)

P.S. *there were literally rivers of water running through our tailgate. i don't think things had dried up from the terrible flooding we had the week before. next thing you know it was just like a monsoon hit all over again. i think oconee county saw more rain in the month of september than we usually see in a year. no seriously.*

our little giggle box

annabelle is full of laughs. that's all she does now. laugh and coo and talk to me all day long. she's also gotten a little crankier, but i think that's just coming with her age. she doesn't seem to be upset about anything in particular, maybe just a little spoiled... whoops. or maybe she's hitting a growth spurt or maybe she's teething... who knows. oh well, this is my first time being a mom, so i'm trying real hard to do it right. maybe she's just starting to form her personality and her personality may end up being like mine (oh goodness), which means she likes to be the center of attention. we'll see. but, if all eyes aren't on her right now, we are in for some trouble. it's all about her!

so she's been laughing for a while now and i keep trying to catch it on video. however, she always gets shy when we pull out the camera, so last night we caught her from the side where she couldn't see us. gotta be sneaky :) (funny she wants all the attention, but as soon as we try to take pics or record anything she acts all sketchy).

the video won't post for whatever reason. but, if you can access my facebook page, the video is posted there!

camera shy comedy hour

In the last two weeks, Annabelle has really blossomed. She is turning into the funniest little baby. She has the absolute cutest personality and I can't stop playing with her! We play all the time. Last week she was a little stuffy and congested, but was still such a pleasant baby. We packed her up Saturday and took her tailgating with us. All dressed up in her beautiful clemson onesie (see picture ---->) she spent the day being loved on by everyone, and of course she did great! As usual. She had a better time than i did, i think. Anyway, first tailgating experience was a success and now I know for sure God really blessed me with such an easy baby!
-Okay and I just digressed for a whole paragraph- SORRY.

Back to my blossoming baby. She started smiling, squealing and holding her head up early and so I always stress about the rest of her developmental process. I've gotten so spoiled with her doing things early, I get worried that if she doesn't do everything early, I will freak out. I know it's not a big deal; babies do things at their own times, but still. So, of course you can imagine how excited I was when she decided it was time to start laughing, I just died!!!

I was playing with her in front of the mirror because she loves to look in the mirror (haha takes after her mother) and i was saying "who's that?" in a really ridiculous voice (you know the voices you never thought you'd make until you became a mom... because you will do absolutely anything to get a cute smile or laugh from your kid?)... anyway, I was doing this in the mirror and she just threw her head back with the biggest smile and just cackled... it was the sweetest, most precious laugh I've ever heard. It was one of those laughs where she had to catch her breath before each repeat laugh... OH MY GOODNESS! Hands down, the cutest thing ever!!!

So, what did I do? Ran as fast as possible to get the video camera. I had her on a role. She was laughing over and over again everytime I made the funny voice and face in the mirror. This went on for a good five minutes so I thought I should capture it on video. As soon as I pull the camera out, she quits! What is up with this girl? Everytime I try to capture anything cool on video, it's like she knows the camera is there and she's done. I've always been such a ham! I've always loved the camera, even as a kid... so, why doesn't she? Who knows? I'm gonna have to work with her for sure! As soon as I can capture her beautiful laugh on camera I will be posting a video to this blog. I'm so happy I'm getting to share these moments with her every day. Being home with her is so worth every single second!

back on the saddle...

Back to workin it out everyday... oh goodness.

I've been blessed since having a baby. I lost all of the weight I gained within 2 weeks of my delivery and haven't had any trouble keeping it off. But, anyone whose had a baby will tell you, it doesn't quite sit the same once you lose it. I'm actually smaller than I was before I got pregnant, but have just a bit more of a pooch in my lower tummy than I did before and my abs aren't as strong. I just look more skinny now and less toned. And that's just not gonna work. We all know I like to have my muscles toned and I like my cardio everyday.

I had been doing some yoga and stuff on and off since I was cleared for working out at my 8 week check up. Then, last week, I decided it was time to start back with my old work out routine. This includes my elliptical (BEST PURCHASE EVER EVER EVER)... since purchasing it 2 years ago, I haven't been happier. I have paid for the thing over and over and over again by the usage I have gotten out of it... it kicks my tail, has 8 workouts and you can even make your own. Anyway, I digress... sorry. So, the workout includes my elliptical, which is a different workout everyday and I spend anywhere from 30 min to 1 hour and 15 min. on it just depending on what I'm doing that day and the workout. Afterwards I do crunches and pushups and on certain days yoga.

LET ME TELL YOU.............. I FEEL GREAT! I worked out when I was pregnant, but it just wasn't the same. I couldn't feel the crazy adrenaline that I always love when I work out because I couldn't get all crazy with it while carrying an extra 30 pounds! I'm a junkie for exercise! It completes my day.

SO, YAY for me getting back on the saddle with the workouts! I'm super pumped and can't wait for tomorrow's routine.

there's a first time for everything...

last week was a week full of firsts.

it was opie's first full week away with his new position at work. he was in manning, sc which is about 4 hours away in the most muggy, yucky part of the state, right below columbia. he worked his tail off to get back here by friday. he even worked a 24 hour day on monday-tuesday. i'm so proud of him. all he could think about was getting home.

it was also the week that annabelle decided she wanted to get a little more fiesty with her coos and noises. and on tuesday she had her first squeal... you know, like a delightful squeal. it was so precious. she was lying on her back in her gym, staring at the fan like usual and just trying her hardest to talk to it. just cooing and google eyed and then she just smiled real big and squealed so loud... i loved it! it just stole my heart! of course i immediately called her daddy to share the excitement. and he was sad he wasn't here for it, but he's gotten to see her do it a few times since he's been back home. the greatest part is she actually squeals at me now, which is awesome because it lets me believe that she actually might think i'm funny! i'm just waiting for that first laugh! she's "talking" a lot more now. or at least i like to call it talking. she just plays and makes noises all day long and i love it! she tries to copy noises that opie and i make to her. she's so smart!

on a darker note, it was also the first week we had to help her poop. she had a similar issue the week before but finally ended up going on her own. and we weren't too worried because she wasn't constipated. well it happened again this week and this time she never went on her own. since breastfed babies usually don't have to push at all, early on, cause it just kinda comes out, they usually have a time learning how to use those muscles when it's time. so, now that she's having to learn to use them now that her bowels are more developed i think she was just having some trouble pooping on her own. so, we had to help her. we used a q-tip and some vaseline (per the pediatrician) and didn't expect for it to work like right away... but, oh boy!!!!!!!! we were not prepared and we had quite a mess on our hands. i won't go into detail. let's just say it was a crazy first that we will definitely be prepared to handle the second time if necessary.

it's also been the first week our dogs have stayed outside full time. we finally got their place set up in our back yard and it works better for everyone. they can come in when i'm home alone or when it's raining or whatever, but for now it's best that they stay outside. i've got too much to take care of with the baby and really don't have time to worry about them all the time. i know that sounds a little rough, but they are very needy when they are inside and Annabelle is my number one priority. she comes first now.

it was also our first "taking out the trash" weekend. i stole this term from scarlet and matt. they do this like every year and i am so glad i learned from them. opie and i have lived in this house for almost 2 years and have never done a thorough "taking out the trash". and by that i mean, just getting rid of junk that we don't need anymore. our house is typically clean and nice and tidy, but i can't get over that we just have so much stuff that we have held onto that we don't need. the rule for the day was if we haven't used it this year, it gets thrown out. so saturday, opie and i went through and got rid of sooooooo many things that we have no use for. and man, it was soooooooo freeing! i love it. i think i wanna do it twice a year.

Saturday was also Annbelle's first Spittoono ever! we will make this an annual tradition for her since it has been an annual one for both of us. it's a great way to give money to charity and see old friends in clemson. good music, good atmosphere, good people and it's outside in clemson and you know opie and i love being outside and especially in clemson! Annabelle loved it and she did so well just hangin out with us in the grass!

so, it's been a week of firsts and annabelle is already starting to show signs of sitting up early. i'm just waiting. she's so smart. no matter what she does, i'll be proud.
i'm so excited about everything we have accomplished since the baby has arrived. i love my family. i can't wait to see what kind of firsts God has in store for us next! yay!!!!!!!!

He's the potter, I'm the clay...

i just wanna share what's been on my heart recently. i love the book of Philippians from start to finish, so i could probably write a 20 page blog about it, but i just really wanna share a piece of it that has meant a lot for my hungry soul lately.

"... He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." -Philippians 1:6

He'll be faithful to complete it........ if I let Him. No matter how much I mess up or have pushed Him away in the past, He holds onto me. He has a plan for me. And when I let Him, He wants to show me what that plan is. He will mold me and make me in His image every day that I let Him take control. I've been reminded of this so much lately and I'm so thankful that when i start to slip, He brings me right back to Him. He constantly reminds me that He is the potter and I'm the clay. What an awesome God!

I pray everyday that I am able to be a good example for Annabelle and that she'll come to know these things about our amazing God too! I pray that she will be whoever she wants to be, but that God will always be at the center of her world.

are there golf carts in heaven?

So, this past week has been an emotional rollercoaster. Last tuesday Opie found out he'll be traveling to Asheville for work for about 2-6 months. I was really angry at first, but then I realized that it's just another way God is providing a way for us to financially allow me to stay home with Annabelle. Then, his boss decided he needed to go to Manning, SC for some training this week. Well, that threw a bit of a kink in our plans. We were supposed to be going to Columbia to see my family Saturday and Sunday and then coming home to Seneca. (Side note: Manning is about an hour and fifteen minutes below where my family lives... so, I decided to stay in Columbia for the days that Opie spent in Manning.) Boy, God works in amazing ways. If it weren't for Opie's job we would have never stayed in Columbia for a few extra days and I may have never gotten to have a sweet talk with my grandaddy before he left this world.

We got into town on Saturday and spent a great day with my dad's whole family for my cousin Aleesha's graduation party. It was sad because my grandaddy wasn't there and was in the hospital again. My sister and I both had our babies and husbands there and my grandmother and aunts and uncles got to meet Annabelle for the first time! Oh, I forgot to mention, this was also the first time that Jackson (my sister's baby) and Annabelle met and the first time I got to see my handsome nephew and my sister got to meet Annabelle. It was pretty emotional. Since we had the babies 2 weeks a part, neither one of us could travel when they were born. Anyway, after the party Opie, Annabelle and I went back to my sister's and hung out with her and Stephen and Jackson. In the middle of the night we were woken up by a terrible phone call from my dad saying they had moved my grandpa to ICU and we should get down there quickly if we wanted to see him. He was bleeding internally and had stopped breathing. They had him on a ventilator, as he could not breathe on his own. What I saw when I got there was awful and I cried for the rest of the night and kept seeing his face over and over. I never ever wanted to remember him that way. We stayed until about 5 a.m. and decided we needed to go home and rest. The next day my mom had a baby shower planned for me at my sister's. I never had one with my family in Columbia when I was pregnant. So, we were having a post-baby baby shower.

Sunday came and we were all exhausted. Opie was leaving for Manning to work and we had a baby shower planned. The baby shower was so much fun and I got to see my mom's family and they all got to meet the baby too! Opie left me on Sunday night to go to Manning and I spent the evening with my mom and sister. I kept seeing that image of Grandaddy that I didn't want to remember. I had decided I couldn't see him again that way. Monday was good. Mama took me and Whitney to lunch and we went shopping... I went to mama's dance class and dinner with her. All the while still waiting on news about Grandaddy. They had told us early Sunday morning that there wasn't very much they could do for him because he wasn't stable enough for surgery to stop the bleeding and his kidneys were shutting down. So, we were waiting to hear what to do next. Tuesday morning they ran some tests on him to see if he could come off the ventilator and make it on his own. My dad came by and spent some quiet time with me and Annabelle. I know he needed it. My grandaddy was my daddy's best friend and I've never seen my daddy so torn up in all my life. I sat with him and let him talk and cry and just listened. While he was spending time with us, my aunt called and said my dad needed to get there. They were saying that Grandaddy would probably pass that day. Daddy called me as soon as he got there and said I needed to get down there by 1:30 because they were taking Grandaddy off the ventilator at that time and he would have to breathe on his own and may not have much time after that. I packed up Annabelle and met my sister and family there. I didn't want to go back and see him again. I remember what I saw Saturday night and I couldn't handle it again.

My daddy convinced me I needed to go and promised he'd hold my hand. So, Whitney, my daddy and myself went to the room to say our goodbyes. AND I am sooooooo very grateful that I did. I saw him peaceful. He looked better than he did when I saw him Saturday and I was able to stand and talk to him and cry with my daddy and sister. I will never ever forget those moments. I thanked him for loving us so much, because he did love us more than any grandparent in the world. I thanked him for all the candy before dinner and all the golf cart rides through the woods and to the catfish pond. We waited in the waiting room for a while afterwards until the nurses came to tell us it was time to take him off of all the machines. My whole entire family (probably 20 something people) stood in the hall near his room and waited. When they opened the door, he was there, breathing, on his own. We all crammed into his room and stood around his bed, for what seemed like forever. He breathed and made noise, but mostly he looked comfortable and peaceful and that's what we all wanted to see. My daddy stood next to him the whole time, never letting go of his hand. When it was time for me to leave, I leaned in and kissed him and spoke something in his ear and daddy told me later that he shook his head while i was whispering to him. THAT MEANT THE WORLD TO ME! I know he heard me. I know he knew I was there. I knew then that I could let him go and have a sense of peace knowing that he knew how much I loved him.

Daddy stayed by his side all night and Wednesday morning at about 10:15 he took his last breath. My daddy was there holding his hand and loving him. The hardest part of this whole thing has been watching my daddy hurt so much. His dad was his best buddy and it's gonna be a long time before my daddy is okay. That's the hardest part. I've never had to lose a grandparent and I didn't know what it would be like, but it's been the hardest loss of my life. And it's hard to watch your parents hurt so much too. I hate that Grandaddy never met Annabelle. It kills me everyday. I know he would have adored her and she would have just loved him to pieces! But, I know they will meet one day and he'll be walking. He won't be cripple anymore. No more polio holding him back. No more crutches and scooters and no more pain. He will walk or run right up to us when we see him again... OR MAYBE he'll be riding a shiny golf cart. He loved our golf cart rides... nothing will ever compare. What I wouldn't give for just one more ride with him...

what are friends for?

i believe God puts information in front of us at the most perfect times. i believe he uses messages from others every day to help us see that we aren't alone. yesterday morning, opie and i didn't make it to church because of annabelle's healing belly button (we didn't want to clothe her and make her ride in her car seat and such with her belly still healing from the granuloma) so, we decided to watch church on t.v. Dr. Charles Stanley was on and was doing a sermon on friendship. oh boy. just what we needed.

in the sermon, Dr. Stanley discussed how our friends will fail us and how in the Bible, paul was failed by his friends on numerous occasions toward the end of his life. the purpose of the sermon was to assure us that even when our friends fail us, God never will. He is always there and always in us if we know Him. it was also a sermon to help us realize what it means to be a christian friend... if we are christians, what kind of friends we should be, and when our friends fail us, as christians we should be forgiving. it doesn't always mean we have to continue putting forth effort for a friendship after we've been hurt, but forgiveness is a key component to the healing process and becoming a good, christian friend.

During the sermon, Dr. Stanley said, "the faithful presence of the Lord will sustain you when others fail you." and man, i needed to hear that. i needed to be reminded that our friends are human and we can't expect to get from them what God can give us. He is the only one that can offer unending, unfailing love and support. when our friends turn their backs on us and walk away because of certain trials, God will still be there. He is perfect. they are not. we can never expect that. but, we can try to set good examples as friends. we can try and try to be the best possible friends we can be and not let our friends down when they need us.

this is where opie and i needed the sermon yesterday. see, for as long as i can remember, opie and i have had so many conversations about how overly caring we are as friends. how sometimes we get hurt because we expect others to give to the relationship as much as we do. and we aren't talking materialistically. i'm not talking money or gifts or who can by who the most things... i'm not talking money. i mean true, genuine caring for another person. thoughtfulness. see, to me and opie, thoughtfulness is the world.

it's nice that we found each other because on the topic of friendship and caring for others, he and i are pretty much the same. we've run into problems with friends before, where we gave and gave (emotionally) and were invested in people and then they didn't do the same things in return. we would get let down and sometimes pretty heartbroken because we expected more. until one night, opie's parents sat us down and had a talk with us. they explained that just because opie and i are a certain way, it doesn't mean that others are that way too. just because we show friendship by thoughtfulness and emotional investment in those people, it doesn't mean that's the way they operate. some people just aren't thoughtful people. people we may consider good friends may only consider us semi-friends. who knows? but, what i do know and what i learned again this weekend is God and family is really all that matters! God's gonna be there. your kids will be there and your spouse and family will be there. no matter what. and that is a beautiful thing!

spilled milk

everyday with annabelle is such a learning experience. and i've learned how to become reeeeaaaalllll good at quick laundry. i never knew how much milk, spit up and poop could come from such a small human being. i love her, but geeeez.
the first couple of days home she was soooooooo fragile and innocent and not so messy ;) but here lately, it's grunting and pooping and spitting up everywhere. and it never fails, when i'm nursing her, she will always pull away at some point and blow milk everywhere because she has an air bubble. whether i'm feeding her in bed or on the couch, she manages to get milk everywhere... and it doesn't smell so good if it sits and sours...haha. so, i've gotten real good at washing my bed sheets, oh say every other day, and cleaning couch cushions on a daily basis and changing baby clothes every other hour it seems... haha. it's soooooooooooo cool learning these things i never knew anything about. i absolutely love her to death and wouldn't trade these little things for the world. she teaches me something new everyday.
she started smiling this past week and it has just melted my heart. she is so smart and so strong and amazes me everyday with something new. today she smiled and cooed at me. it was so special and i wouldn't trade being home with her for anything in the world!
the laundry loads may be huge and i may never ever get a break from them, but she is SOOOOOO worth it! i thank my God every single day for my little blessing!

A 28 hour anniversary

i had joked all throughout my pregnancy about baby gilbert coming a little early on our anniversary... ha. guess i jinxed it! june 16, 2009 was mine and opie's 2 year anniversary. i had worked the day before and was pooped and opie had worked a 14 hour day at his new job. i went to bed that night with a feeling that something big was gonna happen. duh, probably a baby!
4 a.m. i sat straight up in bed with the same pains i'd been having for weeks. only this time, they were more regular. now, just some background info... i've never had a baby (just in case you weren't aware) and my biggest fear towards the end of pregnancy was that i wouldn't know when i was in labor. of course everyone kept telling me, "oh, honey, you'll know" and "what you're feeling now are just normal pains... blah blah blah". well, this time at 4 a.m., i knew. for sure. there was no doubt. i sat straight up. took a shower and peed until i couldn't pee anymore. all the while, trying to count each contraction and trying not to wake opie before his alarm went off.

his alarm went off about 5 and i was sitting straight up in bed, wet from taking a shower and staring intently at the clock. he's like "candle, what's wrong? you having pains again, why are you wet?" holding my huge, watermelon belly and breathing a little more breathy i'm like "i'm pretty sure i'm having a baby today... on OUR FREAKIN ANNIVERSARY! WHAT DID I TELL YOU?! HA!" of course he's wanting to know why i haven't woken him up and my explanation was "i wanted you to get all the rest you could before work". he quickly assured me of how idiotic of an explanation that was seeing as how i was in labor and we were clearly going to the hospital. we counted the contractions for another hour until they were 5 minutes a part and then left for the hospital. now, remember, i delivered in anderson, so we had a good 30 minute drive ahead of us.

we get to the hospital and i get all hooked up to this crazy monitor that keeps track of me and baby. the coolest thing about the monitor is watching the contraction numbers go up and down each time you feel one. when i first got there, my contractions were every 2-3 minutes a part, i was dilated to 3 cm, and 80% effaced. so, in the beginning the contractions were very bareable. i could feel one coming and it was actually kinda fun to look at the numbers and see how high they would go. when you're not contracting the little number reads anywhere from 0 to 20 something. mild contractions would be from the 30's to 60's and then the big WHOPPER contractions (felt like your tummy was being squeezed by a blood pressure cuff) would read from the 70's all the way up to about 130! oh what fun to watch. this went on for hours. they decided to let me labor on my own. oh, and apparently every other pregnant woman due in june decided to have a baby that day too. therefore, slowing my process down. women were showing up after me and popping out babies right away and stealing my doctor to do it... that was frustrating. i'd look at the little screen (which monitored all the rooms on my floor by my nurse) and another graph would fall off the page, meaning yay another baby is born! but, never mine. i just waited and waited!

the doctor finally came in and broke my water after he was done playing superman down the hall delivering 5 babies back to back. okay, so the water breaking experience... weirdest experience of all i think. so, you're fully awake, fully aware, no drugs yet and still trying to remain bubbly and happy and pretty... then the doctor puts your legs in this weird position and sticks this long thing in "there" (which is really really really uncomfortable) and pulls it out and then water swooshes everywhere and then you just have to lay in it. yep. just lay there. until someone decides to come and change your bedding... what fun.

after breaking my water they tell me to go ahead and get my epidural because the pain gets bad very fast after they break your water. so, i listened like a good girl... even though i hadn't had any pain yet, i wasn't going to try and be wonderwoman without the drugs cause i knew i'd fail miserably. next thing i know i look up and this kid walks in my room dressed in scrubs and calls himself doctor. i'm like what? DOCTOR? seriously? he's like "i'm going to be your anesthesiologist today"... and then i freaked. he didn't look any older than 18 and he was about to stick a needle the size of ruler in my back!?! and i couldn't have anyone in the room with me when he did it... no way. the nurse assured me he was the best and he turned out to be really super cool and nice and went to clemson for undergrad too and kept me calm. never even felt a sting and he got the epidural in with one try. super cool guy. (can you request the same anesthesiologist everytime?)

so, the next step: lay there. let the squeezes get tighter around your tummy and try and rest... yeah right. my tummy was growling and starving (FYI: you can't eat when you're in labor, just so you know). so, what possessed everyone to eat 1 million times that day and do it in my room? and also, were they serving the best gourmet food in all the world that day? why did everyone feel the need to eat it where i could practically taste it. i was becoming ill by the moment. somewhere in the evening, my drugs saved me. i hit a one or two hour spell where everything i said was extremely funny and made no sense and i could just look at everyone's face and see that i was hugely comical. i finally wore myself out. i started to feel pain eventually and went to press my cool epidural pump and it beeped really loud. OUCH! much to my surprise, my pump was broken... oh yeah, these things weren't supposed to happen... and NOT TO ME! after a 30 minute break with no drugs, some dude came and fixed my pump and boy, it never worked right again. midnight on our anniversary came, with still no baby :( i was exhausted.

about 4 a.m. the next morning june 17, the nurse came in and checked me and said "hey, you're 10 cm let's do this thing". so, as exhausted and hungry as i was i slid myself down, put my feet in the stirrups, held opie's hand and with every contraction i pushed like a freakin champ! i pushed and pushed and pushed and the nurse said i was such an amazing pusher and was doing everything so text book! yay me! i was so proud. i would fall asleep between contractions and then opie would wake me up to push with each one. then, wouldn't you know... my dang epidural was gone. done for. no more pushies left on my pump. and there ain't a thing you can do when you're in the middle of pushing. that's it. so, i felt it. i felt it all. and i have to say, it wasn't really that bad, but that's probably because i was so ready to get the baby out!!! the nurse kept checking me after every big push and the baby wasn't moving down. she was in position still and HUGE, but she wasn't moving. the nurse determined that the baby had turned her head sideways (for what? to look at my other ovary? i don't get it!) and wasn't turning it back. she wasn't moving down because her head turn was causing her to hit my pelvic bone. so, the dark gloomy cloud loomed overhead. i knew it. i knew what was next and i swore i wouldn't have to have it come down to this. i had worked so hard... dangit!

dr. parker came in and said, "so, the next step is a c-section. you can push for another hour, but there's no guarantee she's coming out..." so, i sucked back some tears and they had me on the operating table by 8:00 a.m. and baby out by 8:15 a.m. and i wouldn't trade the experience for anything in the world. it was perfect! my little story to tell my little annabelle one day. annabelle doesn't share our anniversaray, she was born on june 17 instead. but, she does get to share her birthday with her grandaddy (my daddy) and he couldn't be happier to share it with her!
heck, c-sections are a piece of cake and didn't cause my baby's head to come out all mishapen. so yay that she is here and yay that she is healthy and yay that i got to experience labor on my own, even if it did last 28 hours and leave me with a little scar... it's a very small price to pay for such a big, beautiful, chunky BUNDLE OF JOY!

I'm BACK!

so, i took another vacation from this blog. turns out my life was way too crazy to even write about. i tried to keep working a full time crazy job until the day of my delivery. yeah, you try it and tell me how it works for you. needless to say, i went into labor about 2 weeks early, in the middle of the night after a long day at work. next time i'm waiting on a baby, i'm quitting a month before my due date. you never get that lost sleep back... so, i'm learning.

the course of pregnancy wasn't as bad as i thought it would be and definitely more adorable than i knew it could be. i actually miss my belly at times. it's kinda weird. don't get me wrong, i'm super stoked to have my old body back, but sometimes i look at my belly and i'm like "where'd you go? oh wait, you're laying in the bassinet right next to me."

i gripe about work, but really i think i would have gone insane if i hadn't had my job to get me through those 9 months... and my sweet husband too. i was really lucky to even have a job, while people all around me were losing theirs, including my husband. luckily God blessed him with a better job just a little over a month later!

so, life's different. better. but very very different. i never knew mommyhood could be so wonderful and i am starting the blog back so that y'all can enjoy my experiences. annabelle is 1 month old today and it's time for me to start re-capping the last few months. oh, and the labor and delivery of course! who doesn't wanna hear all about that?!?

so, hang on and check in every so often so you can see what's going on with the gilberts!